September 30, 2023

“The one factor that’s in the end actual about your journey is the step that you’re taking at this second. That’s all there ever is.” ~Alan Watts

One factor that’s promised to every one in every of us in life is demise. Nobody will keep away from dying or feeling the ache of shedding others. From a younger age I keep in mind being conscious of this reality, and it scared me.

As I bought older, I started to really feel a way of strain that I used to be operating out of time and loss was imminent. The considered shedding my family members and the uncertainty of what could occur apprehensive me. I wished to keep away from the sentiments of loss and limitation, so I unconsciously started to maneuver quicker.

There was a deep concern that if issues didn’t occur quick, they’d not occur in any respect and that I wouldn’t have sufficient time.

Sooner grew to become higher, and I began the hamster race of working arduous to realize my goals. Whether or not that was ending college, beginning a profession, being in a wholesome relationship, beginning a household, being match… even my non secular journey grew to become a race to happiness that solely existed sooner or later!

I noticed later in life that this mindset was born out of concern—the concern of loss, the concern of the unknown—and safety from these fears was a fast accomplishment. It created an immense quantity of stress and struggling as a result of all targets and goals take time to construct.

I believed sooner was higher, and if it wasn’t quick then it wasn’t occurring in any respect. I started to search out causes for why it wasn’t occurring—that I used to be not ok, life was unfair and arduous, and it was not attainable for me. Every time I repeated these limiting beliefs, I took one step away from my goals and developed extra nervousness.

This led to a cycle of beginning, quitting, after which trying to find one thing completely different. I might garner the braveness to start out one thing new solely to fall flat on my face when it didn’t occur. The cycle of disgrace would repeat, impacting my psychological well being and my capability to maneuver ahead.

I wished to see proof that I used to be attaining my targets and looked for tangible proof to really feel good whereas concurrently ignoring all of the great issues that had been proper earlier than my eyes. Like residing close to the ocean, spending time with my family members, speaking walks alongside the coast, having significant conversations with associates, and having fun with moments of quiet with my favourite cup of espresso. These imply a lot to me now.

I wished the diploma, the paycheck, the glad picture of me surrounded by associates, moderately than the silence of uncertainty and the impatience I felt within the current. My concern of time took away the one actual time that existed, the now.

Once I slowed down and paused, I noticed that I had skilled a lot development and growth in all of the years I’d thought I used to be losing time. Each roadblock had challenged me to alter. In actual fact, my nervousness, concern, and disappointment round my gradual progress led me inward to heal my relationship with time.

Although a lot of my goals did come true, I used to be solely capable of acknowledge them after I slowed down and let go of the “when.”

I used to be capable of obtain this by training meditation, breathwork, and consciousness. With time and consistency, the current second grew to become crammed with coloration, and its magnificence swept me away from the ticking time bomb of the long run. I started to take pleasure in every step of my journey, whether or not it was the start or finish.

With the reward of hindsight, I can see that it’s not in regards to the “when” however in regards to the “what.” What I’m doing proper now within the current. The variety of damaging and limiting beliefs I positioned upon myself and the disgrace I felt had been on account of an emphasis on all the time “pondering ahead,” and an absence of being with myself within the current.

The reality is after we let go of our misconceptions of time and observe our goals patiently, we see that point just isn’t towards us; the method is a crucial a part of our journey.

The time it takes to succeed in our targets just isn’t empty; it’s crammed with studying and unlearning in order that we discover ourselves. Ultimately it’s not the achievement that results in freedom, however the knowledge that comes from residing life.

If we make the current second our buddy moderately than our foe, we will expertise and recognize our current journey moderately than specializing in our arrival.